I wish this was an AW post, but I don't have any pictures back from our photographers yet.
Instead, this is a post looking for some advice about dealing with post-wedding issues. Specifically, I've had 3 close friends tell me how hurt they were about not being invited to the wedding. Not inviting them was not a statement about the quality of our friendships and I would have loved to include them but at the time, my reasons not to were compelling.
First, it was being the centre of attention. We both hate it, so we settled on a guest list of 50, not including us or the bridal party. This meant leaving out family and friends. Our second reason was budget. This is ONE day of our lives together, and we didn't want to spend our downpayment for our house on it. Inviting those 3 friends meant a total of 10 extra invitations between spouses/partners/kids. The third reason was (probably) the stupidest of them all. All 3 friends would have had substantial traveling to do to get to the wedding. Two of them were a 3.5 hr drive away, the other a 10+ hour flight. I guess that in a weird, twisted way, I thought I was almost doing them a favor by not asking them to be there so they wouldn't feel obliged. Two of the friends had a terrible experience being in a wedding for one of our middle school friend and both expressed their hate for weddings. I figured mine wouldn't be any different.
Now that I've written a novel, you can probably pick up on the fact that I feel terribly that they are hurt. Any ideas on how I could deal with this fall out?
Instead, this is a post looking for some advice about dealing with post-wedding issues. Specifically, I've had 3 close friends tell me how hurt they were about not being invited to the wedding. Not inviting them was not a statement about the quality of our friendships and I would have loved to include them but at the time, my reasons not to were compelling.
First, it was being the centre of attention. We both hate it, so we settled on a guest list of 50, not including us or the bridal party. This meant leaving out family and friends. Our second reason was budget. This is ONE day of our lives together, and we didn't want to spend our downpayment for our house on it. Inviting those 3 friends meant a total of 10 extra invitations between spouses/partners/kids. The third reason was (probably) the stupidest of them all. All 3 friends would have had substantial traveling to do to get to the wedding. Two of them were a 3.5 hr drive away, the other a 10+ hour flight. I guess that in a weird, twisted way, I thought I was almost doing them a favor by not asking them to be there so they wouldn't feel obliged. Two of the friends had a terrible experience being in a wedding for one of our middle school friend and both expressed their hate for weddings. I figured mine wouldn't be any different.
Now that I've written a novel, you can probably pick up on the fact that I feel terribly that they are hurt. Any ideas on how I could deal with this fall out?